Toast

Overcoming Stress of Public Speaking

August 8, 2013 by Donna Marie

Picture the audience in their underwear. Pretend you are standing in front of a mirror. Pick a spot just above everyone’s head and focus your attention there. Everyone has their own advice for those that are afraid of speaking in public, as many of us are. While some people seem to be born standing and speaking in front of groups, a large percentage of people experience a crippling fear at the prospect. This fear can halt some careers, or prevent future successes. But while most of us believe it is the thought of being in front of so many people that causes us stress, in fact there may be something else triggering these emotions; a memory of a past experience.

We can probably all pin point a time from our childhood when we embarrassed ourselves in front of our peers; putting yourself out there when you are young can be terrifying and young kids are far from forgiving if you make a mistake. A bad experience when young can scar us for life. Eventually we get over the initial embarrassment and as we get older we store the memory away, along with the “feeling state” associated with the event. It is this state that comes back to us as we once again face the prospect of speaking in front of a group. We may not remember the specific event that caused us to feel like we do, but we definitely remember the fear.

Since these fears can resurface when asked to deliver a speech, a toast, or even a prayer at a family dinner, it is best to learn to control them. So, how do we control our fear if it is based on a forgotten experience? The simple answer is; practice. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will be. But it is also important to recognize and understand the “feeling state” which causes us to feel the fear. Once we can understand, and then release the feelings that cause us stress, we can begin to alleviate the fear. Releasing the fear is a skill that must be learned, and of course practiced, but once mastered your comfort and confidence will increase naturally over time.

Do You Deal with Stress that Comes from the Fear of Public Speaking?

June 25, 2009 by Donna Marie

Fear of public speaking is very common and is a major cause of stress at work. But how does one deal with stress and feel good about speaking in front of groups?

Initially, it is best to understand some of the underlying causes of public speaking stress. They differ for everyone yet there is a common denominator for many. Simply put, speaking in front of groups can trigger uncomfortable emotions from previous experiences.

For example, think about a time as a youth in school and raising your hand to speak or answer a question only to receive ridicule, laughter or perhaps harsh feedback. These typical events cause reluctance to not want to “speak up” and contribute later during classroom, life and work environments.

This uncomfortable memory is filed away (usually into our subconscious) and the same feeling state associated with the event in also filed away with it. Then the anxiety peaks its head at the very thought of speaking in front of groups.

Panic and a crippling nervousness may also be felt. The stress can start at the very thought of having to speak, or when planning the talk, and when delivering the talk. Additionally, it can continue several minutes after the talk as the body is de-stressing from the actual feeling state experience.

It is usually the feeling state, that is, stress and anxiety, etc., that is triggered that causes many people to deal with stress by avoiding speaking situations at all costs. Some say they would rather “die” than speak in front of a group. Some careers have not flourished because of the fear of moving into positions that require presentations to clients, staff or coworkers, etc.

Additionally, fear of public speaking can also surface when asked to deliver a toast at a wedding, a eulogy, or when asked to share a simple prayer at meal time. It is the “feeling state” that is immobilizing and the state that one wants to avoid.

So what can be done to deal with stress in a public speaking situation? Practice of course is always beneficial to assist with speaking fears. Yet to get emotional relief, requires understanding the emotional intelligence associated with ones feeling state. Once this is identified and “released” the anxiety and fear dissipates. It is a skill that can be learned. The anxiety and nervousness lessens noticeably and ones speaking comfort and confidence increases naturally.