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Stress and Grief

March 20, 2013 by Donna Marie

Mum regrets the daughterWe experience pressures in our lives every day and when those pressures start piling up and get to be too much for us to handle we can begin to feel like a stick that is about to break.

When grief from a loss combines with daily stresses the feeling of being overwhelmed can heighten stress and make us feel weak and close to snapping.

Stress can lead to a number of health problems and can zap us of energy and a zest for life. But when we learn how to perceive stress and learn different ways of managing it, we can begin to strengthen and learn how not to break under pressure.

3 KEY Stress Reduction Techniques to Help with Grief

We all have our own ways of dealing with stress, some healthy, some not so healthy. When stress and grief combine after a loss or death it can be significantly harder to choose healthy ways of dealing. While we might feel like shouting at everyone and everything, might be afraid to go to sleep at night and may turn to unhealthy habits to make us feel better, these can all make the problem worse. Some healthier and more productive ways to deal with stress include; meditation and prayer, relaxation and sleep, and healthy eating and exercising.

Meditation and Prayer:

When grieving, our natural instincts often lead us to retreat inside of ourselves. And while reflection can be helpful, we often choose to dwell on what we’ve lost and concentrate on the negative. Instead, spend your time alone practicing relaxation techniques like meditation and prayer.

Relaxation and Sleep:

It’s important for both our bodies and our minds, to help them cope with stress, to establish a consistent sleep pattern: go to bed and get up at the same time every day, make sure you are getting enough sleep (6-8 hours) and allow yourself time to relax before bed. If you are having trouble with this last one, try taking a warm shower or listening to something relaxing before bed.

Eating Healthy and Exercise:

Instead of turning to junk food, alcohol, or other unhealthy habits when stressed, keeps your body at its best by turning to healthy foods and eating habits. It’s also best, though difficult, to keep your body active by participating in 20-30 minutes of exercise a day.

Letting Go:

When we lose someone or find ourselves in an uncomfortable and unfamiliar situation we tend to want to avoid it. Our minds struggle to block it out, unconsciously creating resistance and stress. One of the best ways to deal with grief and stress is to let go of this resistance and become aware of how we are feeling in the present moment.

Humans love to be in control, and when a moment comes that we cannot change or control we become stressed. But in accepting that we cannot change what has happened and becoming aware of our thoughts and breathing, we can begin to de-stress. Try it out slowly, with small things that bother you; become aware of them and how they make you feel, and where they lead your thoughts. Then try it again, and again. It may take practice but letting go can be one of the most effective stress relievers.

Click here for information on Donna’s new healing workshop:  “Grieving Mothers-Grieving Women”, April 27, 2013.

Navigate Around These Pitfalls to Deal with Your Fear of Public Speaking

August 30, 2011 by Donna Marie

When it comes time for you to give a big speech, you might find yourself a bit nervous. Not everyone has a fear of public speaking, but for those that do, it can be frustrating. Preparing in advance, and writing a speech that you feel confident delivering, can help you cure your fear of public speaking. There are a few things that should be avoided when you write your speech.

Although these may appear to be simple things, making sure that your speech is free of them can make giving your speech a calmer process.

The first thing to consider when writing your speech is to not have any inappropriate humor in the speech. There is a time for humor, but never at the expense of anyone else. Jokes related to anyone’s sex, religious preference, political stance or gender are off the table.

Make sure your speech does not have any subtle put downs or condescending language against competitors. Some people are not comfortable trying to use humor in their speech. If you are one of these people, do not feel pressure to be funny.

Your speech should be a reflection of your unique personality and a place to put your best foot forward. Do not feel the pressure to make anyone laugh. You can be respected as a good speaker without using humor.

Make sure you use short, simple sentences when writing your speech. Long sentences with complex terms usually lose an audience. Shorter sentences are more easily understood. Also practice your voice and body language. Articulation, the use of a clean and crisp speaking pattern, is very important to being clearly understood.

Practice over articulating your words to be heard, and even doing some vocal warm ups. These things can help you feel more confident. Practice saying your speech with energy and feeling. When you practice your speech with confidence you will deliver it with confidence. The more warmth and enthusiasm you are able to exude, the more your audience will respond positively to you and your message. Remember to take deep breaths and smile often. Practice saying your points with feeling and emotion. Underline important points so you can remember to emphasize these words or topics.

Lastly, double check which microphone form you will be using. Some speeches are given with a lapel mike so that you can move freely and talk with your hands, while other speeches utilize a hand held or podium microphone. Practice using a microphone beforehand so that this can be an additional stressor removed from your plate.

When you prepare your speech in advance, you can enter your event with the knowledge that you will deliver it with confidence. Soon, you too can be freed from the fear of public speaking after little practice and preparation.

About Donna

donnamarie300

Donna Marie, a consultant, confidante, and champion of stress reduction, has developed a host of effective, easy techniques proven to retrain both the brain’s and body’s responses to stress.  Read More

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