Deal with Stress Today

Donna Marie Consulting

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Don’t let stress control you and your body; take back that control by simply being mindful.

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Lady deep in thought visualizingOur minds and bodies are talking to us all the time; they tell us when we are stressed, or upset, or unhappy with a situation. By listening to our body’s reactions to a situation we can control how we react to it, the problem is, most of us don’t listen. But, it is possible, through a technique called Mindfulness to be more aware of our bodies and our feelings throughout the day and therefore control the thoughts and actions that lead to stress.

Stressful situations arise all the time and most people assume it is a particular event causing us to feel stressed while in fact it is because we feel we have no control over the situation. These situations and our reactions to them occur so often they have basically become habit. We don’t realize we are tensing our shoulders or grinding our teeth until our bodies become too pained to ignore. Our reactions to stress become as out of control as the situation.

One thing we can have control over is our thoughts. So, to avoid habitual stress, and to become more in control of our thoughts, feelings, and reactions, we must begin to practice mindfulness throughout the day.  Being mindful simply requires taking some time to become aware of what is going on around us at any given moment. Not trying to change or control a situation, but simply concentrating on what is happening and the feelings or thoughts you are experiencing.

Being mindful, without trying to control or change, can take some practice. Try this; if you are feeling particularly stressed or out of sorts, stop what you are doing and focus on your thoughts; what were you thinking about that caused you to feel like this? Take a moment to clear your head and concentrate on the here and now, not the future or what needs to be done.

Practice this habit throughout your day. Before you go into a meeting take a few deep breaths and don’t focus on anything else except those breaths. While sitting at your desk, focus on the task at hand instead of what you need to do later. Use all five senses to be totally aware of the present moment and what your thoughts are doing to your body. Once you are aware of your thoughts, you can begin to control them. Using this control you can change how you perceive a situation and what it does to your body.

Don’t let stress control you and your body; take back that control by simply being mindful.

Asking for Help is Essential to Managing Stress

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Certain individuals are hardwired to withstand higher stress levels than others, and something that may be incredibly stressful to one person may be only slightly irritating to another. Although we all react to stress in unique ways, one thing is consistently certain: stress affects everyone at some point in their life. If we know stress is a normal, presumptive aspect of the human condition, why do so many stressed out people avoid asking for help?

 

Often, when we are faced with our darkest, most harried or unbearable moments, we shut down, withdraw and become insular. We are embarrassed about the source of our stress, or we feel it is too tiresome to discuss. Most commonly, stress sufferers are afraid that reaching out, admitting they need help, will make them appear weak and out of control.

 

Periods of duress in our lives can strain our ability to think clearly and make sound judgements, so it’s no wonder stress causes people to isolate themselves. Alienating friends and family is a knee jerk defense mechanism, but this will only compound feelings of helplessness. Consulting a professional, like a therapist or a counselor, a friend, family member, spiritual advisor or a support group, is the first step in taking control of the stress and managing it properly. How can each of these support networks help you reduce and manage your stress?

 

Therapist or Counselor

Trained professionals are there to listen and allow you to vent. Since they have been specifically educated to understand a variety of psychological issues, mental health professionals can provide you with coping mechanisms and anti-stress exercises. They may ask you questions, delving into the cause of your stress, thereby helping you to understand and manage it better. A therapist’s office is also a great place to leave stress behind. Spending an hour or two a week unloading in a controlled environment will tell your mind to leave the problems there, with the therapist, instead of carrying them around with you all the time.

 

Friends and Family

Your immediate, built in network of friends and family can be an unparalleled source of comfort. They love you, and do not want to see you collapse under the weight of stress and anxiety. Remember this and do not be ashamed ask for their help. Leaning on a friend or a loved one gives you a chance to cry, hug or even find ways to laugh about your problems. And your close network can help in other ways too. When they ask what they can do for you, tell them what would alleviate some of the strain. They might be willing to watch your kids for a couple hours, run a few errands for you or straighten up your house. If your best friend or a family member needed you, you’d be there for them too.

 

Spiritual Advisors

Spiritual and religious beliefs notwithstanding, many people feel the need to seek spiritual refuge when they are stressed. If your inclination is to hand over your problems to a higher power, this may be the perfect support outlet for you. No, a priest, minister or church counselor cannot physically take away your anxiety or solve your problems for you. But they can guide you to a path of peace and strength through spirituality. You can also create your own spiritual solace through prayer, meditation or breathing.

 

Support Groups

Locate a support group that will connect you with others suffering from stress. It may help to share your thoughts and feelings with those experiencing similar turmoil. A simple Internet search can lead you to a support group in your area, but be sure to research it before you go. Ensure the group is affiliated with a reputable organization and that the facilitator is licensed to practice group support sessions.

 

If you are nervous about asking for help, start slow. There are plenty of books, CDs, DVDs and Internet sources that reinforce the importance of a support network to decreasing and managing stress. Take time to read and learn about what you are going through. Most self-help material will reinforce how critical it is to accept help. Your stress may seem insurmountable, so do not underestimate the power of a solid support system.

Navigate Around These Pitfalls to Deal with Your Fear of Public Speaking

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When it comes time for you to give a big speech, you might find yourself a bit nervous. Not everyone has a fear of public speaking, but for those that do, it can be frustrating. Preparing in advance, and writing a speech that you feel confident delivering, can help you cure your fear of public speaking. There are a few things that should be avoided when you write your speech.

Although these may appear to be simple things, making sure that your speech is free of them can make giving your speech a calmer process.

The first thing to consider when writing your speech is to not have any inappropriate humor in the speech. There is a time for humor, but never at the expense of anyone else. Jokes related to anyone’s sex, religious preference, political stance or gender are off the table.

Make sure your speech does not have any subtle put downs or condescending language against competitors. Some people are not comfortable trying to use humor in their speech. If you are one of these people, do not feel pressure to be funny.

Your speech should be a reflection of your unique personality and a place to put your best foot forward. Do not feel the pressure to make anyone laugh. You can be respected as a good speaker without using humor.

Make sure you use short, simple sentences when writing your speech. Long sentences with complex terms usually lose an audience. Shorter sentences are more easily understood. Also practice your voice and body language. Articulation, the use of a clean and crisp speaking pattern, is very important to being clearly understood.

Practice over articulating your words to be heard, and even doing some vocal warm ups. These things can help you feel more confident. Practice saying your speech with energy and feeling. When you practice your speech with confidence you will deliver it with confidence. The more warmth and enthusiasm you are able to exude, the more your audience will respond positively to you and your message. Remember to take deep breaths and smile often. Practice saying your points with feeling and emotion. Underline important points so you can remember to emphasize these words or topics.

Lastly, double check which microphone form you will be using. Some speeches are given with a lapel mike so that you can move freely and talk with your hands, while other speeches utilize a hand held or podium microphone. Practice using a microphone beforehand so that this can be an additional stressor removed from your plate.

When you prepare your speech in advance, you can enter your event with the knowledge that you will deliver it with confidence. Soon, you too can be freed from the fear of public speaking after little practice and preparation.

Mindfulness: Two Powerful Techniques to Reduce Your Stress at Work

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Have you found yourself becoming more stressed out then usual? Stress, especially in the workplace, can occur for many reasons. Most people fly through life very quickly, not taking time to slow down and enjoy their lives, but simply push through one day to the next.

Moving through the workday at this speed does not allow you the time needed to process any of the daily ups and downs you might encounter during your workday. Dealing with stress at work is an important skill set to cultivate. The more you take the time to work through the minor stressors at work, the easier it will be for you to let each little work incident go, and the happier you will be overall with your job and work situation.

One important thing you can do when it comes to dealing with stress at work, is to give thanks as often as you can. This is a practice called Mindfulness Meditation.

Being aware, in your body, and living life moment to moment, gives you the ability to be thankful for what you have, and analyze the situation around you before responding. Mindfullness Meditation is a wonderful way to relax your mind and your body at the beginning and end of the day.

Another way you can deal with stress at work is to accept that there are certain things in your life that are not within your control. You can’t control assignments you are given, an individuals opinion of you, the hours you have to work every day- but you can make huge strides towards feeling stress free by accepting that there are some things that you personally cannot change.

Instead you can focus more specifically on things that are within your control. You can control how you react in a certain situation, how you communicate with your boss or co-workers, and how much time you give yourself daily to relax and reflect.

Thinking through the things that are within your power to control, gives you the ability to deal with stress at work in a proactive and productive way.