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Stress and Grief

March 20, 2013 by Donna Marie

Mum regrets the daughterWe experience pressures in our lives every day and when those pressures start piling up and get to be too much for us to handle we can begin to feel like a stick that is about to break.

When grief from a loss combines with daily stresses the feeling of being overwhelmed can heighten stress and make us feel weak and close to snapping.

Stress can lead to a number of health problems and can zap us of energy and a zest for life. But when we learn how to perceive stress and learn different ways of managing it, we can begin to strengthen and learn how not to break under pressure.

3 KEY Stress Reduction Techniques to Help with Grief

We all have our own ways of dealing with stress, some healthy, some not so healthy. When stress and grief combine after a loss or death it can be significantly harder to choose healthy ways of dealing. While we might feel like shouting at everyone and everything, might be afraid to go to sleep at night and may turn to unhealthy habits to make us feel better, these can all make the problem worse. Some healthier and more productive ways to deal with stress include; meditation and prayer, relaxation and sleep, and healthy eating and exercising.

Meditation and Prayer:

When grieving, our natural instincts often lead us to retreat inside of ourselves. And while reflection can be helpful, we often choose to dwell on what we’ve lost and concentrate on the negative. Instead, spend your time alone practicing relaxation techniques like meditation and prayer.

Relaxation and Sleep:

It’s important for both our bodies and our minds, to help them cope with stress, to establish a consistent sleep pattern: go to bed and get up at the same time every day, make sure you are getting enough sleep (6-8 hours) and allow yourself time to relax before bed. If you are having trouble with this last one, try taking a warm shower or listening to something relaxing before bed.

Eating Healthy and Exercise:

Instead of turning to junk food, alcohol, or other unhealthy habits when stressed, keeps your body at its best by turning to healthy foods and eating habits. It’s also best, though difficult, to keep your body active by participating in 20-30 minutes of exercise a day.

Letting Go:

When we lose someone or find ourselves in an uncomfortable and unfamiliar situation we tend to want to avoid it. Our minds struggle to block it out, unconsciously creating resistance and stress. One of the best ways to deal with grief and stress is to let go of this resistance and become aware of how we are feeling in the present moment.

Humans love to be in control, and when a moment comes that we cannot change or control we become stressed. But in accepting that we cannot change what has happened and becoming aware of our thoughts and breathing, we can begin to de-stress. Try it out slowly, with small things that bother you; become aware of them and how they make you feel, and where they lead your thoughts. Then try it again, and again. It may take practice but letting go can be one of the most effective stress relievers.

Click here for information on Donna’s new healing workshop:  “Grieving Mothers-Grieving Women”, April 27, 2013.

This Way to 2012

January 4, 2012 by Donna Marie

Simple ways for 2012. . .
Below are three simple steps one can take this year to create more peace and joy.

Meditation and visualization are proven ways to train the mind to relax and create. Letting go is a process of releasing emotional attachments to things and old beliefs and then giving one a sense of freedom.

All aid greatly to relieve stress, overwhelm, and contribute to your peace.

Try these daily …

 

1.   MEDITATE 3 – 15 minutes daily in a upright comfortable position

  • With eyes closed, focus on your breathing to settle thoughts.
  • Notice any sensations within you without judgment; just practice being.
  • Trust the process!

2.  VISUALIZE– 2-3 minutes daily. Eyes closed, then picture within your mind to

  • Visualize all you want to bring forth; experiences, new passions, ways of being, etc.
  • Visualizel kindness, truth, love, acceptance, and joy for you and others.
  • Trust the process!

3.  LETTING GO

  • Get rid of material things that no longer serve you; toss out or give away.
  • Let go of those that de-energize you or limit time with them.
  • Let go of being right
  • Let go of judgments of others and yourself.

My wish for you this year is to consider an ongoing practice of these effective methods. They do work when applied.

Wishing you a fabulous New Year!   Trust the process!

Blessings, Donna Marie

Do You Use Avoidance as a Strategy to Deal with Stress in Your Life?

September 18, 2010 by Donna Marie

Avoiding situations won’t deal with stress. In fact, avoidance may actually escalate your stress. Have you been guilty of this? Everyone has come into contact with a situation that causes stress, fear and anxiety. As a culture, we have a fight or flight response to many stress filled situations, with many people more easily making the choice of flight. This means that many people are choosing to avoid stressful events or situations entirely, rather than deal directly with the source of their stress or fear.

While in the short term, this seems like an easy fix, in actuality it can cause much more harm than good. By choosing to skip out on any event that may cause you undue stress, you will not be able to effectively learn tools and coping skills. There are many things you can do yourself to  help you prepare to deal with stress in advance.

One effective tool is planning ahead. Envision the stressful situation in your mind. Maybe it is a situation at work, such as a meeting where you always feel put on the spot.  Now break down the event into steps. Visualize in your mind a successful meeting. Visualize being calm, centered and in control during the whole meeting. Imagine successfully answering any questions posed to you, easily and calmly. The more you can picture yourself succeeding, the more you will be able to meet any challenge thrown your way.

Also, take time to connect with yourself before every stressful situation so that you do not feel like you need to run away from a challenge or stress. Take time to do deep breathing, relaxation or meditation, or take time to thank the universe for the multiple blessings in your life. Many people also practice affirmations. Repeating positive thoughts over and over to yourself will allow you to prep yourself to deal with stress and stressful situations as they arise.

Once you have spent time envisioning a challenging situation going smoothly, preparing internally for the challenges that may lie ahead, and practicing positive self talk and affirmations, you will be prepared and ready meet any challenging situation that may come your way. Deal with stress in this way and you will find that difficult situations can become easier, and you will be able to meet your challenges head on.

Take an Inventory to Successfully Deal with Stress

September 6, 2010 by Donna Marie

Everyone everywhere has fears and stressors that can influence their daily lives to a greater or lesser scale. Many people do not deal with stress that has entered their lives. Stress can pop up in your life in a multitude of ways. Stressors ignored can build beyond the point of manageability. Understanding where your stress is coming from will help you reduce the pressure.

Stress can come from your family, from your kids, from work responsibilities, or from added activities that you place on your own shoulders. Some stress is internal, and can be controlled by daily practices such as meditation, rest, journaling or active communication. Other stress comes from external sources and needs to be dealt with by figuring out active strategies to prevent these added sources of stress from overtaking your life.

Yes, as we see, stress is a part of everyone’s life and cannot be avoided entirely, but by making a few simple choices, you can easily reduce the level of stress in your life and deal with stress once and for all.

Start by doing an inventory of all the added stressors in your life. Try to pinpoint where your own personal stress is coming from. Once you have made your list, begin to target each stressor one by one, to actively find a way to remove it from your life or to find an way to deal with stress specifically.

Do you have to take too many stressful phone calls throughout the day? If so, designate a specific time of day where you will return all your calls, and allow yourself to remain focused at work.

Does your partner or spouse pick fights at home? Schedule some time to sit down and communicate your issues once a week, allowing the rest of the week to be stress free!

Make a list of things that bring joy into your life. Is it taking walks, relaxing with friends, catching up on reading? The more positive energy you bring into your life, the more your stress level will decrease.

Next Page »

About Donna

donnamarie300

Donna Marie, a consultant, confidante, and champion of stress reduction, has developed a host of effective, easy techniques proven to retrain both the brain’s and body’s responses to stress.  Read More

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