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Asking for Help is Essential to Managing Stress

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Certain individuals are hardwired to withstand higher stress levels than others, and something that may be incredibly stressful to one person may be only slightly irritating to another. Although we all react to stress in unique ways, one thing is consistently certain: stress affects everyone at some point in their life. If we know stress is a normal, presumptive aspect of the human condition, why do so many stressed out people avoid asking for help?

 

Often, when we are faced with our darkest, most harried or unbearable moments, we shut down, withdraw and become insular. We are embarrassed about the source of our stress, or we feel it is too tiresome to discuss. Most commonly, stress sufferers are afraid that reaching out, admitting they need help, will make them appear weak and out of control.

 

Periods of duress in our lives can strain our ability to think clearly and make sound judgements, so it’s no wonder stress causes people to isolate themselves. Alienating friends and family is a knee jerk defense mechanism, but this will only compound feelings of helplessness. Consulting a professional, like a therapist or a counselor, a friend, family member, spiritual advisor or a support group, is the first step in taking control of the stress and managing it properly. How can each of these support networks help you reduce and manage your stress?

 

Therapist or Counselor

Trained professionals are there to listen and allow you to vent. Since they have been specifically educated to understand a variety of psychological issues, mental health professionals can provide you with coping mechanisms and anti-stress exercises. They may ask you questions, delving into the cause of your stress, thereby helping you to understand and manage it better. A therapist’s office is also a great place to leave stress behind. Spending an hour or two a week unloading in a controlled environment will tell your mind to leave the problems there, with the therapist, instead of carrying them around with you all the time.

 

Friends and Family

Your immediate, built in network of friends and family can be an unparalleled source of comfort. They love you, and do not want to see you collapse under the weight of stress and anxiety. Remember this and do not be ashamed ask for their help. Leaning on a friend or a loved one gives you a chance to cry, hug or even find ways to laugh about your problems. And your close network can help in other ways too. When they ask what they can do for you, tell them what would alleviate some of the strain. They might be willing to watch your kids for a couple hours, run a few errands for you or straighten up your house. If your best friend or a family member needed you, you’d be there for them too.

 

Spiritual Advisors

Spiritual and religious beliefs notwithstanding, many people feel the need to seek spiritual refuge when they are stressed. If your inclination is to hand over your problems to a higher power, this may be the perfect support outlet for you. No, a priest, minister or church counselor cannot physically take away your anxiety or solve your problems for you. But they can guide you to a path of peace and strength through spirituality. You can also create your own spiritual solace through prayer, meditation or breathing.

 

Support Groups

Locate a support group that will connect you with others suffering from stress. It may help to share your thoughts and feelings with those experiencing similar turmoil. A simple Internet search can lead you to a support group in your area, but be sure to research it before you go. Ensure the group is affiliated with a reputable organization and that the facilitator is licensed to practice group support sessions.

 

If you are nervous about asking for help, start slow. There are plenty of books, CDs, DVDs and Internet sources that reinforce the importance of a support network to decreasing and managing stress. Take time to read and learn about what you are going through. Most self-help material will reinforce how critical it is to accept help. Your stress may seem insurmountable, so do not underestimate the power of a solid support system.

Mindfulness Meditation Techniques to Deal with Stress – Part 2

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In Part One of the series, I discussed one of three Mindfulness Meditation techniques for managing your stress; and the mechanism of stress. The stress mechanism is the process that occurs when an event is translated into a distress reaction.

I revealed that while most people are aware only of the event and their action or reaction to the event (that they interpret as stress,) in actuality, there is much more going on. In our experience of stress there are other intervening, often unconscious, steps of thought and emotions that come before the action we take, or our physicalresponse to a stressful event.

In this article, I will focus on how the thoughts we think contribute to the experience of stress and how Mindfulness Meditation can help you to manage the thoughts that contribute to your experience of stress.

Mindfulness is the ongoing practice of bringing your focus to the present moment as much as possible throughout your day. It is the practice of awareness of your thoughts, emotions, your body and the surrounding environment.

The key is to practice this awareness without thoughts of judgment or criticism of self, others or situations. To manage your thoughts about your experience you must first be aware of them. Once you are aware of inner negative comments (we all have them), mindfulness meditation practice helps you to let them go and refocus on simply observing what is happening both in your body and around you at the moment.

Mindfulness Meditation Technique #1, described in Part I of this series, teaches you to refocus on your breathing.  By refocusing on this simple activity, you begin to free your mind from distractions associated with Past thinking; i.e. thoughts of yesterday, last week, last year, etc., and with Future thinking; i.e. thoughts of what may happen; both negative and positive, especially worry.

Freeing your mind from Past and Future thinking is important because stress originates from fear-based thought patterns that we have been unconsciously conditioned to think. Fear thoughts are learned over our whole lives from those who are closest to us.

Recent studies  also point to fetal experiences being formative too. As we were growing in the womb we experience the stress reactions of our mother as our own. If a mother experiences much stress during her pregnancy, chances are the child would have integrated that experience.

Mindfulness Meditation Technique #2:

Throughout your day take multiple 60 second breaks to practice focusing on your thoughts about your environment. Notice everything you can with your 5 senses. Keep your thoughts focused on looking, seeing, hearing, feeling.

What do you see around you? Notice colors, shapes, people, sensations. Notice your thoughts about everything you see. Practice seeing without judging right or wrong.

This practice can be done in a car, at work, at play, with others without interfering with your activities or really anyone else knowing.    You are merely shifting your focus. Play this mental game right now.

Focus on the task that you are doing right now in this moment. For example, if you are writing or typing, notice that entire experience. How do your fingers feel as they strike the keys? How do the keys sound as you type? Notice any tension in your body and so on. Stay focused on exactly what you are doing. When you move on to the next task, notice everything about that too.

Mindfulness is a very effective means to experience calm, inner patience and confidence, and to access clarity.  However, like other teachings we must become a student and practice daily.

Make your daily practice easy with Donna Marie’s Relaxations for Inner Peace audio program of guided meditations, soothing music and sounds of nature. Go now to our De-Stress Store.

Have you tried this exercise? What is your experience? Please share below.