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Overcoming Stress of Public Speaking

August 8, 2013 by Donna Marie

Public SpeakingPicture the audience in their underwear. Pretend you are standing in front of a mirror. Pick a spot just above everyone’s head and focus your attention there. Everyone has their own advice for those that are afraid of speaking in public, as many of us are. While some people seem to be born standing and speaking in front of groups, a large percentage of people experience a crippling fear at the prospect. This fear can halt some careers, or prevent future successes. But while most of us believe it is the thought of being in front of so many people that causes us stress, in fact there may be something else triggering these emotions; a memory of a past experience.

We can probably all pin point a time from our childhood when we embarrassed ourselves in front of our peers; putting yourself out there when you are young can be terrifying and young kids are far from forgiving if you make a mistake. A bad experience when young can scar us for life. Eventually we get over the initial embarrassment and as we get older we store the memory away, along with the “feeling state” associated with the event. It is this state that comes back to us as we once again face the prospect of speaking in front of a group. We may not remember the specific event that caused us to feel like we do, but we definitely remember the fear.

Since these fears can resurface when asked to deliver a speech, a toast, or even a prayer at a family dinner, it is best to learn to control them. So, how do we control our fear if it is based on a forgotten experience? The simple answer is; practice. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will be. But it is also important to recognize and understand the “feeling state” which causes us to feel the fear. Once we can understand, and then release the feelings that cause us stress, we can begin to alleviate the fear.  Releasing the fear is a skill that must be learned, and of course practiced, but once mastered your comfort and confidence will increase naturally over time.

Take an Inventory to Successfully Deal with Stress

September 6, 2010 by Donna Marie

Everyone everywhere has fears and stressors that can influence their daily lives to a greater or lesser scale. Many people do not deal with stress that has entered their lives. Stress can pop up in your life in a multitude of ways. Stressors ignored can build beyond the point of manageability. Understanding where your stress is coming from will help you reduce the pressure.

Stress can come from your family, from your kids, from work responsibilities, or from added activities that you place on your own shoulders. Some stress is internal, and can be controlled by daily practices such as meditation, rest, journaling or active communication. Other stress comes from external sources and needs to be dealt with by figuring out active strategies to prevent these added sources of stress from overtaking your life.

Yes, as we see, stress is a part of everyone’s life and cannot be avoided entirely, but by making a few simple choices, you can easily reduce the level of stress in your life and deal with stress once and for all.

Start by doing an inventory of all the added stressors in your life. Try to pinpoint where your own personal stress is coming from. Once you have made your list, begin to target each stressor one by one, to actively find a way to remove it from your life or to find an way to deal with stress specifically.

Do you have to take too many stressful phone calls throughout the day? If so, designate a specific time of day where you will return all your calls, and allow yourself to remain focused at work.

Does your partner or spouse pick fights at home? Schedule some time to sit down and communicate your issues once a week, allowing the rest of the week to be stress free!

Make a list of things that bring joy into your life. Is it taking walks, relaxing with friends, catching up on reading? The more positive energy you bring into your life, the more your stress level will decrease.

Manage Your Emotions to Deal with Stress

February 18, 2010 by Donna Marie

Do you find sometimes that aspects of your life are holding you back from what you really want to be doing? Has stress taken over, and it is hard finding ways to thoroughly enjoy your life? Do you feel sometimes that you are just going through the motions without a path?

Maybe you have forgotten how to enjoy your life? You are not alone. Many people feel that their lives have become routine, and that the stress in their life may be piling up around them. The wonderful thing about stress, however,  is that it can be removed as easily as it was created. By taking a few small steps every day, you can deal with stress in a positive way, and find your way back Buy Viagra to the life you deserve to be living.

The first thing you can do is to take a look at your emotional and spiritual self. Do you have an outlet for your emotions? Holding in emotions on a day to day basis creates an environment where stress thrives!

There are many ways you can combat this. You can try finding a trusted friend to talk to. You can purchase a journal and make sure you write down your thoughts and feelings on a daily basis. You can seek help from a professional therapist if there are deeper issues you need to address. The most important way to deal with stress is not to hold back your emotions, but to express them.

It is also important to take a look at your spiritual self. Whether you believe in a specific religion, a higher power, or just a feeling of connectedness, delving into spirituality in some format can remove a lot of stress from your life. Knowing that there is a master plan within the universe can remove some of the day to day worries.

The next thing to tackle can be any fears that you have. Fear can be paralyzing sometimes, and can grow in intensity if not dealt with. Begin by tackling a small fear, and slowly expand to larger ones. Enlist a support system if need be. Fear can create much stress in your life and should be tackled appropriately.

If you know that there are changes you need to make in your own life, but fear seems to be holding you back, take a risk and push through the fear to change your life. You will be glad you did,.

Finally, make sure that you have a sense of humor about life. Things will not always go your way, but taking the time to relax, and appreciate the joy surrounding you can do wonders, even for a bad day. Step by step you are moving closer to living the life you want to live.

Do You Deal with Stress that Comes from the Fear of Public Speaking?

June 25, 2009 by Donna Marie

Fear of public speaking is very common and is a major cause of stress at work. But how does one deal with stress and feel good about speaking in front of groups?

Initially, it is best to understand some of the underlying causes of public speaking stress.  They differ for everyone yet there is a common denominator for many. Simply put, speaking in front of groups can trigger uncomfortable emotions from previous experiences.

For example, think about a time as a youth in school and raising your hand to speak or answer a question only to receive ridicule, laughter or perhaps harsh feedback.  These typical events cause reluctance to not want to “speak up” and contribute later during classroom, life and work environments.

This uncomfortable memory is filed away (usually into our subconscious) and the same feeling state associated with the event in also filed away with it. Then the anxiety peaks its head at the very thought of speaking in front of groups.

Panic and a crippling nervousness may also be felt. The stress can start at the very thought of having to speak, or when planning the talk, and when delivering the talk.  Additionally, it can continue several minutes after the talk as the body is de-stressing from the actual feeling state experience.

It is usually the feeling state, that is, stress and anxiety, etc., that is triggered that causes many people to deal with stress by avoiding speaking situations at all costs.  Some say they would rather “die” than speak in front of a group.  Some careers have not flourished because of the fear of moving into positions that require presentations to clients, staff or coworkers, etc.

Additionally, fear of public speaking can also surface when asked to deliver a toast at a wedding, a eulogy, or when asked to share a simple prayer at meal time.  It is the “feeling state” that is immobilizing and the state that one wants to avoid.

So what can be done to deal with stress in a public speaking situation? Practice of course  is always beneficial to assist with speaking fears.  Yet to get emotional relief, requires understanding the emotional intelligence associated with ones feeling state.  Once this is identified and “released” the anxiety and fear dissipates.  It is a skill that can be learned. The anxiety and nervousness lessens noticeably and ones speaking comfort and confidence increases naturally.

About Donna

donnamarie300

Donna Marie, a consultant, confidante, and champion of stress reduction, has developed a host of effective, easy techniques proven to retrain both the brain’s and body’s responses to stress.  Read More

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