Exercises

Positive Psychology

June 5, 2013 by Donna Marie

We know we can feel sad or upset when we are stressed, but did you know that being sad or upset may be making you more stressed? In turn, being stressed can weaken our immune system and increase our chances of disease. Anger, anxiety and sadness can all trigger our stress response and wear down our bodies.

Luckily the damage done by stress and anxiety can be undone by the ongoing practice of changing our state of mind.

Positive Psychology has found several emotional states that can contribute to greater emotional resilience, health and fulfillment. Just like we need to work to make our bodies stronger, there are ways to work to keep our minds and emotions stronger; to focus on positive feelings instead of our daily stresses, which can often consume us.

By taking time when we are stressed to focus on ourselves and channel our emotions, we can learn to calm our stress levels. Once we learn to get ourselves into these states of positive thought regularly, our stress levels can be lowered, our overall outlook changed and our health improved.

Gratitude Works All Year Long

November 12, 2012 by Donna Marie

Each year, as the Thanksgiving Holiday approaches, we are inundated with media reminding us to be thankful. We are encouraged to count our blessings and offer up gratitude in the spirit of the season. As we prepare to celebrate this holiday founded upon gratitude, many people do pause to give thanks. Being surrounded by family and friends, cooking together and sharing a meal creates an atmosphere of appreciation and love. This prompts our recognition of health, happiness, success and life. But when the holiday comes to an end, we may inadvertently allow these warm feelings wane. Gratitude, however, is a feeling that deserves to stay with us all year long, beyond Thanksgiving. Not only is it beneficial for personal relationships, research shows that it also provides a significant boost to emotional well being.

Researchers at the University of Miami studied the effect of feeling and expressing heartfelt gratitude, and found it is beneficial for long term emotional health. Likewise, at the University of California-Davis, psychologists found gratitude can act as a stress buffer, because focusing on the things, events and people for which you are thankful and appreciative, redirects negative emotions. In fact, a UC-Davis study asked one group of people to keep gratitude diaries. The findings indicated 75 percent of those who regularly wrote in the diaries scored higher on happiness tests, and developed better sleep and exercise patterns.

How can you integrate these exercises into your own routine? Start by journaling. Each day, take a few moments of quiet reflection, and concentrate on the good things in your life. Consider what your life would be like without these things; your spouse and children, your health, your home, good friends, even your hobbies and talents. Also think about individual instances that deserve gratitude. Examples include a kind deed or compliment that improved your whole day; a successful party or gathering you hosted; a safe commute to work through inclement weather; an hour of yoga or other exercise that refreshed and rejuvenated you.

Even seemingly minute blessings are worthy of gratitude, so write them down and add a short reminder of why you are so thankful for each occurrence. Since so many positive emotions are linked to gratitude, it shouldn’t take long for you to feel your mood lifting. A few weeks of journaling will condition your mind to feel appreciation more readily over time, which can lead to improved overall enthusiasm, alertness, positivity and focus.

Thanksgiving is the perfect holiday to start your journey to understanding and expressing gratitude. Don’t let it end with the snap of the wishbone. Use this information and these techniques to carry gratitude through your entire year, and next Thanksgiving, you may be expressing thanks for an incredible transformation in your attitude, and your life.

Asking for Help is Essential to Managing Stress

October 28, 2012 by Donna Marie

Certain individuals are hardwired to withstand higher stress levels than others, and something that may be incredibly stressful to one person may be only slightly irritating to another. Although we all react to stress in unique ways, one thing is consistently certain: stress affects everyone at some point in their life. If we know stress is a normal, presumptive aspect of the human condition, why do so many stressed out people avoid asking for help?

Often, when we are faced with our darkest, most harried or unbearable moments, we shut down, withdraw and become insular. We are embarrassed about the source of our stress, or we feel it is too tiresome to discuss. Most commonly, stress sufferers are afraid that reaching out, admitting they need help, will make them appear weak and out of control.

Periods of duress in our lives can strain our ability to think clearly and make sound judgements, so it’s no wonder stress causes people to isolate themselves. Alienating friends and family is a knee jerk defense mechanism, but this will only compound feelings of helplessness. Consulting a professional, like a therapist or a counselor, a friend, family member, spiritual advisor or a support group, is the first step in taking control of the stress and managing it properly. How can each of these support networks help you reduce and manage your stress?

Therapist or Counselor

Trained professionals are there to listen and allow you to vent. Since they have been specifically educated to understand a variety of psychological issues, mental health professionals can provide you with coping mechanisms and anti-stress exercises. They may ask you questions, delving into the cause of your stress, thereby helping you to understand and manage it better. A therapist’s office is also a great place to leave stress behind. Spending an hour or two a week unloading in a controlled environment will tell your mind to leave the problems there, with the therapist, instead of carrying them around with you all the time.

Friends and Family

Your immediate, built in network of friends and family can be an unparalleled source of comfort. They love you, and do not want to see you collapse under the weight of stress and anxiety. Remember this and do not be ashamed ask for their help. Leaning on a friend or a loved one gives you a chance to cry, hug or even find ways to laugh about your problems. And your close network can help in other ways too. When they ask what they can do for you, tell them what would alleviate some of the strain. They might be willing to watch your kids for a couple hours, run a few errands for you or straighten up your house. If your best friend or a family member needed you, you’d be there for them too.

Spiritual Advisors

Spiritual and religious beliefs notwithstanding, many people feel the need to seek spiritual refuge when they are stressed. If your inclination is to hand over your problems to a higher power, this may be the perfect support outlet for you. No, a priest, minister or church counselor cannot physically take away your anxiety or solve your problems for you. But they can guide you to a path of peace and strength through spirituality. You can also create your own spiritual solace through prayer, meditation or breathing.

Support Groups

Locate a support group that will connect you with others suffering from stress. It may help to share your thoughts and feelings with those experiencing similar turmoil. A simple Internet search can lead you to a support group in your area, but be sure to research it before you go. Ensure the group is affiliated with a reputable organization and that the facilitator is licensed to practice group support sessions.

If you are nervous about asking for help, start slow. There are plenty of books, CDs, DVDs and Internet sources that reinforce the importance of a support network to decreasing and managing stress. Take time to read and learn about what you are going through. Most self-help material will reinforce how critical it is to accept help. Your stress may seem insurmountable, so do not underestimate the power of a solid support system.