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Loss – A Universal Experience

May 7, 2013 by Donna Marie

detail of an old tombstone showing a grieving womanWhen we experience loss, we experience grief. It is a natural process that affects us all. Whatever race, color or creed, we are all effected when we lose someone or something dear to us. While grief is a universal feeling that transcends cultures, the way we deal with the emotion can vary depending on where you live.  Different cultures have different approaches to handling loss and grief.

In the U.S. and Western European countries, while we remember those we have lost, we tend to need to move on and resume our normal lives and routines. We may detach ourselves from the emotional ties we once felt toward those we have lost.  In Hispanic cultures however the deceased are celebrated long after their death and they encourage remembrance and emotional ties. Other cultures vary in how they express their grief; African and Middle Eastern cultures showing public displays of grief and Asian cultures discouraging public displays of emotion.

No matter how we express our grief, the way we feel about the loss of a loved one typically does not vary. There is a process we all experience no matter our culture. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross lays out this process in her Universal Stages of Grief. The stages most of us experience are; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Though we can attempt to label the things we feel, grief is a complicated emotion and may not only be limited to these stages. One may also feel; pain, guilt, isolation, reflection or readjustment.  And though we may experience them differently, most of us, no matter our culture, may experience some or all of these stages after loss.

Just as the type of grieving may vary, as does the type of loss that may cause us to grieve. There are many types of loss that can cause us to grieve and they are not merely limited to death.  We can also experience grief after the loss of a job, a home, some aspect of our health or our current financial status.

It’s important to remember that while the stages of grief and approaches to emotion can be generalized according to culture, everyone is different and loss is a poignant emotion that will cause us all to react differently. The grieving process is a very personal progression in which many grieve in many different ways.

Try this Visualization Tip

May 10, 2012 by Donna Marie

Lady deep in thought visualizingWe don’t necessarily get what we want in our life and as a result of this, we end up getting stressed. We need to understand that when we give our best to achieve what we desire that things really start to unfold in the direction we want them to.
 
How Visualization is Helpful  

Most of the people have the habit of imagining what they want or the outcome they want to have happen.  Oftentimes, this can be counterproductive when you focus on negative outcomes.  For example, if we are having problems with our colleagues at work, and we focus on the negative outcome.  By focusing your energy on the negative outcome you are always looking for the negative.

I believe the reverse to be true.  If you spend your time focusing and visualizing on the positive, then you will affect a positive outcome in your life.  In my seminars I have often said, “What you think about, you bring about.”   Here are some strategies to help you with your positive visualizations.
 
How to Visualize:

First, make yourself comfortable.  You don’t have to be in a dark room but it is good to find a space with little distractions.  Take slow and deep breaths and you will find yourself relaxed soon. Just keep your eyes closed and start visualizing the event that is causing you stress.

Picture in your mind the possible outcomes for this stressful event.  It is ok to spend some time thinking about many outcomes.  Once you have settled in on the outcome that you truly desire, FOCUS ON THE RESULTS and leave out the details.  Think about how you are going to feel when it comes to be.  Engage all of your senses, and visualize what you want to experience for yourself:  peace, balance, improved relationships, increased accomplishments, etc.  Once you have a clear picture of the outcome you desire you should just take a few moments to relax and become present again to now.

Again, picture or imagine it, as if is already exist. The key is to practice experiencing a positive emotion surrounding the outcome of your intentions.  Your emotions set forth your positive (or negative) intentions for what you desire or wish for.
 
Need a Little Help?

If you are new to this method of visualization then do not worry – you could get help from prepared guided visualization.  Try my audio CD to practice Mindfulness Meditation Practice here.  There are three tracks included, and each one will help you to relax and visualize.  You can listen to a sample of each track here.
 
What others say…
 
“Each has something terrific in it.  The sound quality, the sounds, the music, it was truly a superb making.  The tracks were created with real love and feeling.”     Kevin
 
“Your CD is fantastic. I feel far more at peace with the world.”   Maureen
 
“Donna Marie’s relaxing voice is an effective vehicle for a refreshing, rejuvenating, and health-restoring journey inward”.        Linda

About Donna

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Donna Marie, a consultant, confidante, and champion of stress reduction, has developed a host of effective, easy techniques proven to retrain both the brain’s and body’s responses to stress.  Read More

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